Why I Want to Give Up

One time I was on a long, tiring road trip with my family. Hours into driving, we found ourselves in the middle of a winding highway in the middle of seemingly endless green prairies. Like peering at the ocean from the sandy beach, the lush, green grassland stretched as long as your eyes could see. There were no homes. There were no businesses. There were no people. There were no trees. It seemed like there was nothing out there (including happiness).

The car kept charging along at highway speeds, and at some point, as I drove, my weary eyes caught a bird flying in the sky on one side of the highway. But, with no buildings or trees to break up the wind, he was having trouble. To make matters worse, he was flying against the wind. His wings were flapping as hard as they could, but the wind was winning. Due to the strength of the wind, he was flying in one spot. It was like he was on a flying treadmill. He was going nowhere.

I was stunned. I thought, "Why can't the poor guy turn around and use the wind in his favor?" But then I thought, "Maybe his family is in that direction? Maybe food or water is in that direction? Or maybe he's trying to fly away from something?" Regardless, he was working really hard and he looked really tired, but he was going absolutely nowhere.

And sometimes life feels like that. Sometimes it feels like you're going nowhere. It feels like as hard as you try, you can't seem to make progress. Sometimes it feels like you're stuck. But other times it feels like you're actually moving backwards, despite trying your hardest to avoid it. It feels like you take one step forward, but unfortunately, you slide two steps backwards. Now, undoubtedly, many good things have happened (I'll have to follow this up with another blog on the good things that have happened!), but at various moments over the past fifteen years or so, I've found myself feeling like that bird must have felt. Tired from hard work; weary, exhausted, and ready to give up because of the lack of progress. Sometimes I've felt disoriented; confused about what God is doing.

I've experienced the:

Death of family members
Death of friends
Death of dreams (numerous times)
Death of jobs
Death of cars (at the most inopportune times!)
Death of homes (by needing to move)
Numerous cross-country moves
Surprising, joyful opening of doors & opportunities and the mysterious, disorienting shutting of doors & opportunities
Stunning church and workplace situations
Health challenges
And countless other moments large and small which have left me baffled.

That's why I want to give up.

And yet . . .

in Holy Scripture, God has graciously reminded me of these things.

#1 - It is through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.

[Act 14:21-22 ESV] 21 When they had preached the gospel to that city and had made many disciples, they returned to Lystra and to Iconium and to Antioch, 22 strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.

#2 - You're not the first to get weary; you will reap soon, so keep going.

[Gal 6:9 ESV] 9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

#3 - Consider the endurance of Jesus so you do not grow weary.

[Heb 12:3 ESV] 3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

#4 - Those who remain unwavering while going through trials will be blessed.

[Jas 1:12 ESV] 12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

#5 - Don't lose heart, but instead, be renewed daily and consider that this temporary trial is preparing you for the incomparable, eternal joy awaiting you.

[2Co 4:16-18 ESV] 16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

So, allow me to ask: how are you doing? Are you in a season where you feel like the bird flying against the wind? Maybe things are going well. If so, then express your thanks to God for his goodness. On the other hand, if things have been rough for you, I hope these Scriptures encourage you and you're still able to thank God for his goodness despite the challenges (Rom. 8:28). Soon they will end for good (Rev. 21-22).

Onward.